Tuesday marked 9 years since Rich Mullins was killed in a car accident.
(To be honest, I had forgotten about the date in that context, as September 19 was also my grandparents’ anniversary, and this was the first year since 1934 that they weren’t together to celebrate, as Nana went to be with Jesus shortly after their 71st anniversary. Then Chris at Fishing the Abyss posted the lyrics of Rich’s prophetic song, “Elijah”, and memories came flooding back.)
I had the opportunity to interview Rich in April of 1996, but had been listening to his music since the days of Pictures in the Sky. As I said in the interview’s introduction, Rich rattled my cage — and I’m sure I’m not alone on that front. I don’t think I ever attended one of his concerts in which he didn’t say something that challenged me, something that comforted me, and something that really ticked me off. He was painfully honest, and more often than not, the honesty was about himself as he said stuff that contemporary Christian artists weren’t “supposed” to say.
I sometimes wonder how much longer Rich would’ve lasted in the industry, anyway. At some point, image would’ve trumped the money, and the record label probably would’ve dumped him. Rich never “played the game” and that seems to be a higher priority in Nashville every year.
Not that he thought he was above the game; it just didn’t interest him at all. I remember reading a story about how Rich was phenomenally bored (and a bit peeved) when he had to sit through two days of meetings because Amy Grant wanted to record his song, “Sing Your Praise to the Lord”. The (then) queen of ccm wanted to cover a song written by some unknown guy from the midwest and Rich saw it as no big deal.
September 20, 1997. Four words are indelibly seared into my mind. I opened the latest entry from the Rich Mullins Mailing List and read these words:
The unthinkable has happened.
Everything else in the announcement is a blur, as Rich’s death was detailed. The details didn’t matter then; they don’t matter now.
The next few weeks for my wife and I consisted of wearing out Rich Mullins albums. Eventually, I thought I was over the grief. I found out later that I wasn’t.
In the late winter of 1998, Caedmon’s Call was playing in Stone Mountain (on the other side of Atlanta from me). This was before you could buy tickets online, and as it was my parents’ turf, my dad picked up tickets for my wife and I at one of the local Christian bookstores. We planned to spend the day with my parents, and then go to the concert that night.
When we got to my parents’ house, I looked at the tickets. Caedmon’s had two opening acts that I’d never heard of — Andrew Peterson and Bebo Norman. This was my first time to see CC live, and to be honest, I was a bit miffed that anybody was going to delay their entrance to the stage (not to mention the fact that I was wondering what the heck a “Bebo” was).
By the time the concert was to start, I was over any anger, and simply resigned to enduring the opening acts and hoping their sets were short. Andrew Peterson came out first and after two songs, I decided that I kinda liked him. Then he sang “Three Days Before Autumn“, the song he wrote in reaction to finding out about Rich’s death.
I think he got about four lines out before I started crying. I managed to stop sometime during Bebo’s set. I wrote to Andrew later that one of the things that I loved about Rich was that he was able to write things about God that I was thinking but wasn’t able to express. (Some of his songs sound like God put out an open call for someone to write more psalms.) With “Three Days”, Andrew wrote things about Rich that I was thinking but wasn’t able to express.
I think I learned the meaning of “cathartic” that night and in the ensuing days as I listened to an online version of the song over and over and wept. I finally got over Rich’s death, but (as I commented to Chris today) I still get an empty feeling in my gut when I hear a hammered dulcimer (a very un-pop/un-rock instrument that Rich wove seamlessly into many of his songs). As Andrew wrote:
And I know that he’s singing at the foot of the throne
But that don’t seem to matter down here
‘Cause the winter came early this year
Although, as I noted before, “Elijah” was quite prophetic, I think that Rich’s life is even better summed up by the chorus of “If I Stand”:
So if I stand let me stand on the promise
That you will pull me through
And if I can’t, let me fall on the grace
That first brought me to You
And if I sing let me sing for the joy
That has born in me these songs
And if I weep let it be as a man
Who is longing for his home
May that be my desire, too.
This is the weather forecast for today for my town.
I’m an idiot.
Want to go to Anaheim for free?
